First contact: 1) The heroine’s POV

Posted: 2011/08/09 | Author: Asia Morela | Filed under: Literature | Tags: characterization, gender, hero, j. r. ward, jennifer crusie, judith mcnaught, julia quinn, mary balogh, mary jo putney, modern romance, point of view, susan elizabeth phillips, suzanne brockmann, writing tip | Leave a comment »

Inspired by Jay Kristoff’s guest entry @YA Highway about writing outside your gender, I decided to examine how well (or not) modern romance authors dealt with differences between the heroine’s point of view and the hero’s. I specifically intended to question the part concerning “how we perceive the opposite gender”.

Now, I’m not denying there is a difference, let alone that these differences have frozen into well-oiled stereotypes… For example, as you will notice in the examples below, it’s true that female writers are obsessed with eyes. Even when they can’t tell the colour, they have to say so, or take a guess at it. But the fact remains for me―and authors should think about it when they write, rather than head straight to cliches―that your heroine ought to notice first whatever’s most striking about your hero: eyes usually work if the heroine sees him close up, but not all beautiful men need special or beautiful eyes.

But before I say more, let’s have some fun… (The books were chosen randomly among titles I liked.)

His gaze was cold and grim, and it sent frightening impressions running through her head.
Gray eyes so pale they were almost silver. Eyes that knew no mercy.
Crisp brown hair whose tendency to curl hadn’t quite been tamed by a no-nonsense cut. A man who made his own rules and answered to no one.
Hard muscle and sinewy strength. A physical animal.
Brutal cheekbones and a ruthless jaw. No softness there. Not even a speck of the gentler emotions. This man was a conqueror, designed by nature to make war.

- Nobody’s Baby But Mine, Susan Elizabeth Phillips (Avon, 1997)

That’s beginning with gusto! So, I love SEP’s stories and writing. And what’s funniest in that excerpt is that the whole description actually serves, even more than to tell us how hot the hero looks, to create tension in the scene, make the heroine’s expectations clash as harshly as possible with reality, and explain the absolute, hilarious awkwardness that follows… Don’t take it literally.

With his tie loosened and the top button of his white shirt undone, long sleeves rolled halfway up his forearms, Annie’s new boss―and her brother’s best friend from their high school days―was scary handsome. With his thick dark hair, deep brown eyes, and that face like a movie star, he was TDH to the max.

- Force of Nature, Suzanne Brockmann (Ballantine Books, 2007)

TDH = Tall, Dark and Handsome

Forearms… *drools*

He was a tall, long-limbed young man, she saw in the ample light from the window. And very blond. He was probably blue-eyed too, though there was not quite enough light to enable her to verify that theory. She could see quite enough of him, though, to guess that he was by far too handsome for his own good.

- Slightly Scandalous, Mary Balogh (Dell, 2003)

A little change of tone for this historical romance… But of course, she notices his general stature before she tries and guess at his eye colour, since that’s what we usually do when we see someone for the first time.

He was wearing a biker jacket in spite of the heat, and his long legs were covered in leather as well. He had steel-toed shitkicker boots on, and he moved like a predator.
Beth craned her neck to look up at his face.
God, he was gorgeous.
His jaw was a straight shot of bone, his lips full, the hollows under his cheeks casting heavy shadows. His hair was straight and black, falling to his shoulders from a widow’s peak, and he had the shadow of a dark beard.

- Dark Lover, J. R. Ward (Signet, 2005)

Personal taste: I’m not a fan of Ward’s vampires’ looks. I cannot for the life of me imagine a man being gorgeous who’s huge (height-wise, not… you know, although of course this one hero is both) and without body hair (which we learn when he undress). Very tall guys just don’t do it for me, nor does hairlessness. That’s why, maybe, you shouldn’t always be too specific, and rather leave details to the reader’s imagination.

Her first impression of the man had been fragmented. Compelling eyes, fair coloring, a well-shaped, mobile mouth. It wasn’t until she stepped away that she realized he was the handsomest man she had ever seen. His longish hair shimmered with every blond shade from gilt to dark gold, and the bone structure or his face make angels weep with envy.

- Angel Rogue, Mary Jo Putney (Topaz, 1990)

The heroine meets the hero by falling on top of him. Which explains that her first impression of him focuses on his face.

Besides being even more handsome than she had thought, he was at least six feet three inches tall, broad shouldered and athletically muscular. His thick dark hair was coffee brown, beautifully cut and styled. Masculine strength was carved into every feature of his proud profile, from the straight dark brows to the arrogant jut of his chin and jaw. His mouth was firm, but sensually molded.

- Double Standards, Judith McNaught (Pocket Books, 1984)

Save from the 6’3″ cliche (really? who actually likes tall men?), this passage nails it for me. From the general (height, build, body type) to the particular (brows, jaw, mouth), and more evocative than purely descriptive. The readers are left to imagine for themselves what a “proud profile” looks like, or “beautifully cut and styled hair”. I guess each person has their own notion of what that may mean.

At first glance, he was an average looking, a mild-mannered, dark-haired, Clark Kent kind of guy with horn-rimmed glasses in a beat-up nothing-colored jacket; the only notable thing about him was Andrew’s “Bitch” baseball cap that he’d swiped from her back at Clea’s.
On second glance, the glint in his eye and the set of his jaw made her twitch.

- Faking It, Jennifer Crusie (St. Martin’s Press, 2002)

Another favourite of mine. A description that practically tells you more about the heroine than the hero she’s looking at. In the end, we don’t have a very clear image of what he looks like, but more of what she sees in him, what she likes about him.

Handsome, too. Tall, although not overly so, with warm brown hair and a rather pleasing smile. And a twinkle in his eyes as well, the color of which she couldn’t quite determine in the dim night air.

- On the Way to the Wedding, Julia Quinn (Avon, 2006)

Typical Quinn. The recognition (that the hero’s hot) is instantaneous, but measured. We’re in a Regency world, after all, so you couldn’t get away with things like, “What a sexy beast!” I also like that this author plays with two levels of handsomeness: the objective one, which is immediately apparent but in itself never enough to fall for, and the subjective, passionate one the characters acquire as their feelings develop.

So how do you like that? Overdose of supremely handsome men? But that’s the stuff heroes are made of, you know… I was reminded while compiling these excerpts of a jeering comment made on some MMA blog about Lori Foster’s description of her hero in one of her SBC Fighters books. Men, or any kind of ignorant people will thus often trash romance under the pretext that it’s mushy/syrupy. As if. Scared of a woman who knows what she likes, guys? Scared of a woman who calls a penis a penis? Scared of a woman who judges a man by looks? Who’s the mushiest gender now?

Since I brought up the topic of MMA, here’s a telling example: over a week ago, Strikeforce featured the women’s title fight in bantamweight division (126-135 pounds), and while my boyfriend was trying to defend women’s MMA to his friend, the latter seemed more interested in debating on how “pretty” Coenen and Tate were (or weren’t). Unfortunately, I think it’s an accepted fact that men will always issue a judgement of the opposite sex’s appearance, no matter their position or the context, while they’re used to women not commenting men’s looks nearly so much. The irony is that when we do, men call us “women” and claim not to understand all this stupid romantic stuff… Next time I catch my guy friends discussing who’s hot and who’s not, I’ll be sure to laugh at their corny, sentimental souls.

What makes a good hero description? Do you believe that there are general rules of what a woman sees first in a man? What do you think of the handsome hero stereotype?

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